Internet Humor....

Here are few cartoons that came to me as a forwarded e-mail. They show how internet is dominating our lives and that everything seems to center around the computer and the world wide web... enjoy..

Important Indian Events in Dallas

Dallas area has a fairly large Indian community... something or the other seems to be happening always. I try to keep abreast of different activities that take place in the area, if I don't attend it personally I end up reading about it on someone's blog or looking it up on a forwarded email and sometimes even on desi event sites. Couple of days ago I received this information about the Hasya Kavi Sammelan 2010. This is the third year in a row and according to the organizers the show has been sold out the past two years. I am quite sure this event will be enjoyed by Hindi speakers and listeners, I have viewed some programs on TV when I was in India. The Kavi Sammelan's are usually quite hilarious and also provide important lessons to society.

Details of the Dallas event are as follows:
Date: Friday, April 9th , 2010

Venue: DFW Hindu Temple, Irving

Ticket price: $25 at the gate but only $20 if purchased in advance. VIP tickets are $50

Presenter: International Hindi Association

And like most Indian events, first food and then show. The Kavi Sammelan is also serving Complimentary dinner for ticket holders and dinner is served from 5:45PM to 7:45 PM.

Show begins promptly at 8PM.

Letter to Bill Gates - totally hilarious

I received this Banta Singh joke as an e-mail forward and thought I'd post it here. This is completely hilarious and only a totally innocent and naive individual can think so much out of the box. The writer of the joke displays a child-like innocence in this letter to Bill Gates.

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'Start' but there is no 'Stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 'Re-scooter' is available in system? I find only 'Re-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learned 'Microsoft Word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

6.. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,
Banta


P.S.
Last one to Mr. Bill Gates: Sir, how is it that your name is GATES but you are selling WINDOWS?

Movie Review: Venkata in Sankata

Laughter all the way
Cast: Ramesh Arvind, Mukhyamantri Chandru, Umashree and others;
Director: Ramesh Arvind

All through my college days I would hear about the loss of quality in the Kannada cinema. I was never a big time movie watcher and hence it didn't do much to change my opinion. Now after coming to the US I actually started watching movies of all types, primarily out of boredom. Being a poor student I can't afford to do many of the cool things such as bowling, going to the movies, eating out, etc. So what is the best form of entertainment. Yes watching movies on youtube. As I watched English, and Hindi movies I decided to look for recent Kannada movies and watch them.

Yesterday I watched this notoriously hilarious Kannada movie Venkata in Sankata. Out of the 2 hr 21 minutes, if I said I laughed for 2 hrs it would not be false. The movie is completely funny and every scene has a bit of humor. Ramesh is a great actor and he has proved that he is a great director too.

The movie traces the professional life and adventures of police sub inspector Venkata whose fate always seems to be against him. His colleague somehow always seems to take credit for his actions and a frustrated Venkata is yearning to do something about it.

There is a terrorist attack in the city and Venkata is assigned the case. The way he goes about doing it and win forms the gist of the story. In between there is the heroine and few songs which add the necessary "oomph" factor to the movie. Even without these added gimmicks the movie is a good entertainer.

If you have lost hope about Kannada Cinema, watch this and I am sure you will change your opinion.

Humor in the classroom!!

Once again my good friend forwarded this trove of school jokes and as I read the mail I couldn't help but laugh my head off. I thought it would be a great idea to share all of them online here on my blog.

Dilemma: English or Hindi
Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student: 'Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.'
Teacher: 'When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.'
Student: 'My name is Sunlight.

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Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student: 'My name is Beautiful Red Underwear'
Teacher: 'What kind of a name is this? Don't joke tell me the right name'
Student: 'My name is Sunderlal Chadda."

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Happenings in the history
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.

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Subject explanations
Question: What is the full form of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students

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Attitudes, Analogies and Relationships
Teacher: Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student: BROTHERLY LOVE

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Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student: A holiday

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Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No mam! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

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Teacher: 'Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? '
Johnny: 'Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.'

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Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born.

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Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

Some Great Jokes

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels..
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust!'

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf - always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I came out again and I handed her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'

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A great one liner about marriage
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.